Read if you dare

this relationship is going downhill. everytime i try to tell him how i feel or how we could fix it or what the problem could possibly be. he fucking acts like such an insensitive prick. “Okay” “Sorry” Ok” like real, is that all the effort you can put into our fucking relationship when you already know how much you already put in? the only fucking waste it is is the pity amount of effort you put into it til the end. and for that, i have no fucking words for you. “i dont like the internet. you like playing games all day” well you know, that fucking sucks because the only way we can keep in constant contact with each other is THROUGH the internet. and hes constantly worried about how i need to do my part and how i need to acknowledge that its my fault and not his. like are you KIDDING me? its not my fucking problem that you think that one on one time is the only way to spend time with each other. its not my fucking problem that you;re going to be mad if i tell my best friends when i need fucking help. its not my fucking problem that you fail to understand that secluding yourself from my friends is going to get you anywhere. when you can EASILY get in on the fun. its not even about not being an internet person, you think all these things when you’re wrong because you’re too stubborn to open up and understand. 

we’re two years in this fucking relationship, and you shouldnt even fucking cry about stupid shit like this. clearly you dont trust me enough to do things. you don’t have the RIGHT to be jealous of me having more fun with them because THEY’REMY FRIENDS. you could easily be in on the fun too. we dont NEED to have fun by ourselves…

and at this rate, his stubbornness is the biggest factor of the downfall of our relationship.








AN ACCURATE 2013 HOROSCOPE This is the real deal. Try ignoring it, and the first thing you’ll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning …and it only gets worse from there. ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny… Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘Right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20) Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centred and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20) Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward. CANCER - The Beauty (June 21 to July 22) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer’s love is one of a kind… Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.LEO - The Lion (July 23 to August 22) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with… you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21) EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humour. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of badLuck if you do not forward.SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offence forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini’s. Likes to cook but would rather go outTo eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they’re not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward.PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20) Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the centre of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humour!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

why the fuck do Capricorns get 24 years! i must….

just for the 16 years…

no guys you understand how true this…my personality is like EXACTLy how virgo described it

I love this, because I am a Sag and from what I’m reading it seems fucking spot on. Except the ‘Amazing in Bed’.. I wouldn’t know.. haha

Seriously it said everything about me this is scary but this sag isn’t look forward to 4 yrs of bad luck like seriously

Wow it described me completely I am definitely an Aries for a reason

I know I beat you down. But you haven’t once outright called me out for anything. After our arguments, I see you try really hard because you get in a certain way where I can tell that you are trying. I appreciate it. Not only because you’re trying but you deal with my possessive behavior. You changed so much since we’ve started and you handle things well. And I just wanna say that I’m completely grateful having you. And I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. This is your first time and my 3rd but you’re doing so well. You only see this side of me when we’re apart because when we’re together, its different. I’m sorry I get like this. I love you so much and even though I don’t say it often, I still think how amazing you are with everything. I love you, Taylor. I want to always be with you. You’re my closest friend and my lover. We may not be soul mates but why have that when there’s someone who goes through my hell just to try and be perfect for me. I’m sorry I don’t hold my end of the deal to try and make you happy.  I’m so selfish, its always about me. But I want to let you know that I think things through after our conversations, after telling me what you think and think how amazing you are just to do that for someone who doesn’t want to deal with drama. I may not be the best towards you but you certainly handle it well. I love you, Taylor.

This is to you.

I know we have flaws, together and apart, but really. I have never felt so content with being with someone. I feel stress-free, happy, light on my feet. Its like being with my closest friends but with the extra kick of that giddy feeling. I love being around you. Even when we’re not talking and its complete silence, its peaceful. I enjoy it, its not awkward, it makes me cheerful. You have done so much for me and I haven’t given you much credit for what you’ve done… but don’t worry, one day I’ll work my way up to make you happy just as you have done me. And when that day comes, it will be just another day until tomorrow comes again. 

I’m glad I met your family. Your mom, Seth, and Claire. Your pap, uncle Darren, your little cousins, and Bella, Luke, and Lincoln. I’ve only met them a couple times but they mean a lot to me. Its only because of you. The way you were with your little cousins was adorable. I wish I could be like that, have that kind of relationship with toddlers. I have no sense of touch with kids at all, but you made me have a new feeling towards it. Seeing you having so much fun with little kids, it made me really happy because it was a side of you I have never seen. With Seth, your mom, and Claire. It was amazing. And when you went up to your mom to tell her that your cousin thought that I was “Beautiful. Really beautiful.” She was in awe, it made me happy. I don’t know if its because of the holiday season or what but being with your family felt magical.

i feel so selfish but upset.

i want to be able to celebrate/hang out with my family for the holidays and do festive things. but all we did was sit around: my parents downstairs watching dramas and my upstairs playing league/watching anime. i didn’t even get a present. ITSSELFISHIKNOW…………………………………butwedidn’tdoANYTHINGrelatedtochristmasanditgratelyupsetsme. and when he told me all the things he was doing with his family, i got upset and cried a little because i wanted to do that stuff too with my parents. and i really should be grateful because my mom made pineapple cake and it was fucking delicious, but that was it. and i still feel hung up about it a day later because i’m really expecting something festive notjustexpectingtogetapresent. i wouldn’t feel this way if we did things together but we weren’t even in the same room majority of the day. it was basically a typical day, and it made me upset. i felt lonely. because mine compared to his, his sounds so much merrier. spending time together, eating together, playing/talking with each other, opening presents with each other. i wish i had that. the only thing related to the holidays that we ever do is if i want to put up the tree or stuff like that. i have to make that effort to make it festive because i want it to be. and i really wish they cared enough to celebrate but they don’t… so i’m upset to the point i want to ball up and cry. it makes me feel lonely.

i enjoyed going to his cousin’s birthday party because i got to experience what it was like and i really really liked it. so i could only imagine what it was like when they celebrated christmas… i wish i could have done that. but i guess pineapple cake will do.

ifeeltooembarassed/selfishthatidontwanttoadmitthistoanyone………… :/

haven’t vented in a long time. i guess i didn’t really find a need to anymore. but i guess the last thing on my mind relating to school is that i’m finally on the process of transferring and submitting applications to schools. not just ANY school. ART school, and i’m so damn happy about it. i feel like i’m finally coming at peace with myself because this is where my passion is. this is what i LIKE to do. not math and science. 

i can finally get away from these people too. i have never been so independent in my life. but i guess that’s a good thing. i got opportunities that i would never have gotten if it weren’t for being independent. but i guess what i really wanted to say was how i never really had friends in the two years i’ve been here. it saddens me because everyone else has different interests, different motives and i can’t relate or connect to anyone besides complaining about how hard engineering is. i’m done with all that, i’m ready for my next step in life. i know i’m capable of making art, i know i have the passion for it. the only thing i lack is the experience and time.

Someone save me. I hate it here

so dave said that he’ll definitely get me a lambo if he rolls in money………… #win

update: dave is a faggot

i am literally fucking done dealing with people at this goddamn college. like honestly, you’re so fucking full of yourself. all you do is talk about yourself, your family, or some bull shit on twitter. “oh my gosh i can’t believe justin bieber did this! can you? if i was him i wouldnt be able to. that’s crazy!” um can you shut the fuck up. like oh my god, i can’t believe one of my bestfriends didn’t text me happy birthday until noon. like she had all morning, i was starting to get worried that she forgot that it was my birthday. oh my god. be happy that you even got a goddamn birthday wish. like you got these bitches sending you paragraphs, and you’re bitching that she sent you just a two lined wish? you spoiled little shit. these people fucking cling to each other because they’re pussies. like yeah, i cling to people when i don’t want to be alone, but they are literally just glued to eachother. omg. i can’t rant enough about these people because they do little things that just piss me off TO NO END. its a fucking dick move when you just leave me in the library alone to fucking go eat lunch together and didn;t even tell me. and you guys both fucking know that i was there. so um, fuck you. and your high-end needs. and um, BYE. like fucking honestly, no one fucking cares about your twitter shit about your shit ass celebrity drama. or your fucking family. and how theyre “crazy” and how you fucking think that youre “weird” and your parents call  you “boring,” trust me, you don’t know how accurate your parents are. take their word for it, you boring brat. your stories are boring with no plot. why don’t you just kill me instead. so we can add a climax and make it a future story for you to tell your friends. “omg, i once told a story to this one girl and she killed herself because it was so boring” its understandable. atleast people will be more interested then. and um, fuck you and your prissy self. you think im crabby? hahah, no. im so done with dealing with people that can’t handle some harsh words. oh my gosh im so hurt that yukie said that. “HOLY SHIT YOU CALLED HIM A PUSSY?!” yes, what about it? “omg yukie, that’s harsh.” I KNOW ITS GODDAMN HARSH. but people need to fucking deal with it. i am me, and there’s no other version of me. if you can’t fucking handle it, then fucking remove yourself frmo my presence and, do me a favor, don’t return. you honestly asked me to see my secret rant tumblr? are you fucking kidding me? do you honestly think that i would let you see my thoughts? lets fucking think here… no. “she probably talks shit about us” yes, yes i do. because you know why? you’re all highended, self absorbed, dust collecting brats.

secondly, fucking fuck off my fucking personal space ok. i have no intentions of getting close to you anymore after you fucking act like a cocky asshole. i gave you a chance, not the fucking other way around. i shouldn’t be priviledged to hang around you judigng byt the fucking way you act towards me. dont act like you’re so fucking cool when you’re not. sorry not sorry. but no one acts like you. if you want fucking friends stop overpowering them with your opinions and actions. because quite honestly, that’s the reasons why i decided to not give two shits about you anymore. you act like you know all this shit and its “so easy” yet you cant fucking pass a physics exam and i can? wow, so much for knowing a lot. right? you have no sense of that level of respect to give to people. you can’t just force people into things and expect them to do it, are you fucking kidding? i work at my own pace, and you can fucking suck on that shit if you don’t like it. like how creepy can you even get? you fucking follow me all the way down the library LITERALLY right behind me? the fuck even? and you continue to sit near me and bother me when im attempting to study for calc? um, cool. yeah. i bet “calc 1 is easy” that i should try “calc 2” right? why don’t you go fuck yourself.